8 more movie reviews

Movie	Rating		Review
the squid and the whale	3		this was a pretty good movie, à la the Royal Tannenbaums. It had a lot of great moments as well a lot of really awkward, bizarre moments, but altogether had a good script some great acting, and was pretty interesting to watch.
Haven	4		cool movie about the Cayman Islands. At first it was kind of a complicated plot line, with several stories trying to weave together from different perspectives, but in the end, I was pretty satisfied.
blood and chocolate	1		this was a terrible movie about a bunch of werewolves, basically a really stupid incredibly poorly acted version of underworld, done by the same director, I think.
goal	1		a mindnumbing movie about a stupid kid who plays soccer and his lifelong dream is to play professionally, and of course he gets his chance, and of course he scores the game-winning goal or something stupid like that. It's like Bend it like Beckham except better, and with Mexican guy instead of Indian chick.
Hollywood homicide	1		I don't know how Harrison Ford could be in a movie this bad, but I guess the money was good. It's just a really boring detective movie with the twist that the two detectives have side jobs in LA, one is an actor going on auditions, and Harrison Ford is a real estate guy trying to sell a house he just bought. All this while trying to solve a homicide. It was so bad, we fast forwarded through most of it.
the man	1		typical Samuel L. Jackson and garbage, and Eugene Levy being a typical slapstick retard.
children of men	1		the concept sounded kind of cool, and the imagery was pretty interesting and the actors were quality, but the story was so badly executed that I really had no idea what was going on, nor did I care.
the breakup	2		I love watching Vince Vaughn be Vince Vaughn, but this was a pretty dull story that was actually a pretty big downer at the end. No, they don't get back together after they break up.

I like buying clothing... in China

last weekend, Maddy and I went to get some custom made clothing at a tailor on the other side of town. This turned out to be one of the coolest experiences I've had in China, just about tied with buying all the DVDs.

basically, the place is a huge five floor building where each floor has literally hundreds of of little shops selling everything from electronics, DVDs, women's clothing, purses, accessories, knockoffs (mostly knockoffs), and men's suits. The top floor basically consists of 50 or 60 little booths that sell fabric, and then another few dozen booths, each with a teller inside who is ready and willing to make you a suit or any other clothing you want for a few bucks.

Last week, after Maddy had poured over dozens of huge glossy women's clothing magazines and located all the different dresses and garments she wanted custom-made (basically copied from the picture), we headed over to John Chi, the tailor who was recommended to us by a friend.

we each got measured, I chose fabric for my custom-made suit, and different fabric from a whole bunch of sample books for six button-down shirts. The suit cost about $170, and each shirt cost about $20. Maddy painstakingly described exactly what she wanted and ordered five garments.

we came back this past weekend for a fitting and the results were astounding. I personally haven't really anticipated quite how useful "make my own clothing for really cheap" thing could be. Turns out, good old John Chi could pretty much make anything Maddy or I threw at him, including jeans, dress pants, corduroy jacket, shorts, cargo pants, dress shirts, basically anything. So we spent a few hours going through the shops to find good material. The way it basically works is you find a pattern and material that you like, and you buy it by the meter. So, for example, I found some cool striped linen that I wanted to be made into pants, and got 2.4 m of it for about two dollars per meter. Maddy did her thing as well, and we came over to John with a whole bunch of bags filled with fabric.

the cost of making clothing breaks down into two costs: the cost of the material, and the cost of labor. Previously, we picked out material that the tailor himself was providing, but this time, we bought it ourselves for cheaper and with a lot more selection. So now, the only cost is the labor in creating clothing out of what we give him.

In the end, I ordered 10 pairs of pants (two corduroy, one loose-fitting corduroy cargo, two jeans, two dress slacks, two linens, and one black khaki), each will cost about $12 for labor, and the cost the material was about four or five dollars each. I also got a corduroy jacket, which costs about $70.

Maddy was there for several hours after I had left and she ordered about a billion other things too.

We have decided to basically overhaul our entire wardrobes with custom-made stuff from the tailor, and then buy a few really large suitcases when we head back to New York. For me this is pretty easy because I barely own any clothing as it is.

also, this tailor is so cool that he said he's going to keep our measurements on file and once we're back in New York, we can actually e-mail him stuff that we want made and he'll make it and FedEx it to us.

Custom-made clothing for cheap. Hell yeah!

Top 20 Ways to Tell: You’ve been Living in China For Too long…

My girlfriend Maddy and I have been living in Shenzhen, China (about 45 min from Hong Kong, in the south) for a while. A little bit too long, I'd say, because a lot of shocking things have become pretty normal around here. We put together this list to convey some of what we deal with on a regular basis....

(20) Spitting on the table is OK: Chinese people love to spit. Walking on the sidewalk, waiting in a lobby, wherever. But the most exciting place to watch Chinese people spit is at the dinner table. Any dish that contains bones (and a lot do here), the food goes in one side of the mouth and the bones come out the other, back onto the table. It's pretty fun to watch.

(19) Diarrhea is expected: Every meal begins the dreaded countdown. Will I have solid poop later or will it keep me up at night? No matter what you eat here - nice restaurants, hole-in-the-walls, expensive, cheap, meat, vegetarian - you're never safe.

(18) You get upset when a store carries Chinese clothing labels instead of samples: Samples are basically the Calvin Klein, Chanel, American name brand clothing that is sampled out of the factory. Unlike the fake stuff, samples come from the actual factory that makes the real, name brand clothing for Calvin Klein or whatever. Finding them is pretty easy because many clothing stores simple get them and resell them, so you'll tend to find one-of-a-kind type stuff because they literally get 1 pair of those great Doc Martin shoes. The Chinese brands, on the other hand, are kind of crappy.

(17) Can distinguish between the smell of "stinky tofu" and rancid meat: I don't get it, but Chinese people LOVE their stinky tofu, which is exactly what it sounds like. It smells like poop and it is sold commonly by street vendors so you catch a whiff of it walking by. It is tofu but it stinks like shit. Now when I walk by, I know what it is and am not quite as shocked to find people eat it and ... enjoy it!

(16) Still can't squat right, and pee on your foot: This is a girl thing. The squat toilets (basically a hole in the ground) is the common bathroom here. Maddy says being able to use these toilets properly, without getting some dribble on your shoe, is still beyond her. Practice makes perfect, I guess.

(15) Not fooled by menus that come in English: A lot of restaurants will have bilingual menus. Problem is, the english is almost always a bad translation, so the dish ends up being disturbingly different from what you expected when you pointed at the menu to order. Tuna sandwich, yeah right. Try stinky tofu. Always order by picture.

(14) You can spot the Chinese people in a foreign country: If you can sit at a restaurant in Thailand and point out the Chinese people simply by their manners, (read number 1), you know you've been in China for too long.

(13) Standing in front of elevators is OK: The courtesy of letting people off an elevator, and then getting on, does not exist here. Instead, people congregate around the elevator as it opens up, forcing the people inside to have to push their way through. This is one of those things I hope we don't continue doing when returning to New York.

(12) Perfectly normal to wash food with SOAP: Yeah, you can never be too careful, but in this case, you'll probably get sick if you don't scrub the shit out of your produce with industrial level soap. But make sure you dry it thoroughly afterwards... the tap water will kill you too!

(11) Wear pajamas outside your apartment: Fashion... it basically does not exist here. It's so cool for a couple to wear matching outfits that a store downstairs actually sells "him" and "her" t-shirts on display like they are the latest garments from Tommy Hilfiger. But on a Tuesday evening, you will also spot people wearing their pajamas, walking around like it's a new fashion statement.

(10) You eat Cipro like it's PEZ and drink Pepto like it's Coke: Ah, good old broad spectrum antibiotics and the Pink Stuff. You can never be too safe.

(9) You are patient with Internet speeds slower than 1997 dialup: Since all internet traffic goes through censorship algorithms, and only ONE ISP exists (this is not America), you're lucky if DSL gets up to 6Kb/sec. Checking a website can take minutes, Outlook will time-out and think you're offline, and watching a 30 second video on YouTube will take, no joke, HOURS. Interestingly, BitTorrent gets up to a solid 150Kb/sec, which is pretty amazing.

(8) When Pizza Hut is considered gourmet Italian: I think that sums up dining here in Shenzhen. Pizza Hut is actually a very nice restaurant here, on par with some of the finer establishments. Sadly, even the best places serve mediocre food.

(7) A big night out with your girlfriend costs $30: Taxi ride for 2 to hot nightlife: $2. Dinner for 2 with bottle of wine: $18. Cocktails at hip bar, for 2: $7 Having gastrointestinal problems later on: priceless.

(6) Names like "Swan", "Metal", "Forest", and "Lucky" are perfectly normal: Chinese people tend to knight themselves with English names. Trouble is, they pick names they perceive as cool without really knowing what the name means. Girls love the name "Cherry". Seriously?

(5) You forget what the movie theater was: For the price of a single ticket to see Spiderman 3 at the theater ($11), you can buy 18 DVDs (40 cents each), including Spiderman 3. Yes, pirating is bad and illegal, but it's also hard NOT to do that math. We have several hundred DVDs at this point since we commonly buy a few almost every day from the dozen vendors right outside our apartment.

(4) Fake merchandise is expected: This is where it all happens, so obviously it's pretty easy for Chinese manufacturers to make crappy fake stuff along with the good quality stuff. Anything you buy here is not exactly "fake" like a Louis Vitton bag. It's just crap, and it will likely break within a day or two. Luggage won't even make it to the airport. Computer equipment is shady. DVDs are commonly bad copies (not bad quality, but they start skipping halfway through).

(3) Wearing the same clothes 3 days in a row is acceptable: It's normal for people to show up to work several consecutive days wearing the same outfit. I love this because I get to go days without changing!

(2) Getting your apartment cleaned for $4 is TOO expensive: Cleaning services charge about $1.50 per hour to clean. This is a bit more competitive than my sister's cleaning service for $50. Interestingly, when everything is really cheap, you become even more frugal. Example: A single cab ride could get you 25 bus/subway rides. $12 in the grocery store could buy 2 week's worth of food and beverage.

And the number 1 reason you know you've been in China too long...

(1) You've forgotten what Wikipedia was: Those crazy Chinese, always censoring and blocking your internet traffic. The most noticeable site that never works is Wikipedia, which is a shame because it apparently is the number 1 google result 70% of the time (according to a study I read somewhere). Sites will flutter in and out of existence, one minute YouTube will work, the next minute it won't. I think it all depends on China Telecom's mood that day.

Photos from the philippines:
http://public.fotki.com/jeffnovich/philippines/

enjoy!!

China is the place to get a custom suit made. I went with Maddy to Luo Hu to meet up with John Chi the tailor to get fitted for some sweet shirts and suits that will make me look pimp when I get back to NY. $150 for a suit and $22 per shirt is pretty good.

On the way over, I was watching my Cowon A2 video player - watching episode 1 of Knight Rider, actually - and a woman next to me asked how much I paid for it. I said $300 USD. She gave me her card and said she works in electronics. Her name is Swan. hahaha. I wanted to ask if she was "ugly duckling" when she was growing up.

I also just got my tax refunds... direct deposit, baby. Basically, I filed my taxes and wrote off a LOT of business related expenses. I did all the taxes myself and read up on all the different ways to save - various IRAs, what counts as a business expense, and that sort of thing. So in the end, I got almost $2500 back from NY state and Federal - I'd say that's pretty awesome considering last year the idiot accountant who did my taxes didn't write off a goddamn thing and I ended up paying way more than I should have. Do your own taxes. That's all I have to say.

Living in China means cheap DVDs are just around the corner. Literally. about 10 different DVD stands dot the area just steps from my apartment, making it very tough to come home without a handful of new movies bought for just 60 cents each. Since i've watched SOOO much (sometimes 2-3 movies a day), i feel i need to write some short reviews of everything. A lot of the movies also tend to be international that you might not know about in the states or films that just didnt go anywhere. lots of crazy stuff turns up at the DVD vendor stands and I have something of an addiction. (Most of this was dictated, so there may be some errors in the writing... just ignore them)

there are movies, and TV shows at the bottom...

Enjoy!

MOVIES:

Little Miss sunshine -- this movie was cute, not quite great, but cute. Steve Carell is very depressing, but the road trip reminded me a lot of the road trips my family used to take when we went on vacation.

Running with scissors -- another very depressing movie. It had its moments, but ultimately I thought it was a little bit too dark for my taste, almost borderline requiem for a dream dark.

Howl's moving Castle -- this was one of those wacky animated films where basically nothing makes sense. It was along the same lines as spirit it away, and simply was so weird that nothing made sense. It was, however, visually interesting.

The beach -- this was a fun movie to watch because Maddy and I were in Thailand at Ko samui when we saw at. It started strong, and seemed to have a good message about how vacationer zero is looking for something different but they all wind up doing the same ship they do at home, just in a different place. But it spirals out of control and gets really weird towards the end.

Pan's labyrinth -- this was a fantastic movie, and I highly recommend it. It was visually spellbinding as it alternated between the dark world that the little girl imagined and the even darker or more gruesome world of war that was her reality.

X-Men 3 -- I love X-Men, they can do no wrong. I really loved this action movie.

Treasure planet -- this silly animation adventure movie had its moments, and some of the characters were quite amusing, but for the most part it was pretty silly and obviously predictable and for kids.

The last king of Scotland -- this was a pretty impressive film, very powerful, as Forest Whitaker puts on an amazing performance. I'm not going to knock it because it was based on a true story, but seriously, the kid is such a tool and a PDA for doing all the things that he did, that he almost deserved what happened to him.

Flight plan -- I love Jodie Foster, but this was just a pretty stupid movie. I mean seriously, how does anybody actually kidnap a girl on an airplane with nobody noticing. oops, I just ruined it for you.

Pirates of the Caribbean 2 -- another fun movie, and I love Johnny Depp. I don't care that it was kind of silly, it was fun.

Rough Magic -- this is a bizarre movie with Russell Crowe that really has no point, so I won't even bother talking about it.

16 blocks -- this was a fun movie with Bruce Willis with a completely implausible ending where everything works out for him and the other guy.

Mirror mask -- I barely got through half an hour of this wacko movie. Visually it was pretty interesting, especially if you are tripping on acid, but for those of us who are clean, it's really a weird, on interesting movie.

World Trade Center -- God for bed I say anything bad about a movie about 9/11, especially one with the name "World Trade Center" in the title, but this was a piss poor movie with the most ridiculous overacting and very cheesy moments. I realize that Oliver Sohn did everything to make this movie as true to the story as possible, following the entrapment of two police officers and their subsequent rescue, but it really was pretty bad.

We were soldiers -- this is Mel Gibson's religion meets a war movie. Every 10 minutes or so there was something about God and religion, and then the rest of the 10 minutes were filled with gruesome war scenes. It was a very exciting movie, but certainly not for the squeamish. There was a great line in the beginning, though, when Mel Gibson is addressing his soldiers and says something like "it doesn't matter who you are, black or white, Christian or Jew, we are all Americans... "or something like that. But he definitely said something about how we are all the same, even if you're Jewish, and he definitely said it very convincingly, as if he meant it. But we all know and Mel Gibson is a wacko anti-semitic.

10 items or less -- this is a weird low-budget movie, kind of like clerks, except with Morgan Freeman. Most of the shots are excruciatingly long, where a single camera rolls for five or seven minutes, as a whole dialogue progresses. I had to fast-forward through sections of this movie, and it was pretty bad and really boring. It's not as if I need action in a movie to enjoy it, but if a movie is going to be entirely based in dialogue with virtually no camera movement or multiple shots, the dialogue and acting better be amazing, and it simply was not.

The prestige -- Christian Bale and Hugh Jackman along with Scarlett Johansson made this movie really awesome and fun. While there are so many twists it will make your head spin, the setting and costumes are really cool to see, as they re-create magic shows from the turn-of-the-century.

Assault on Precinct 13 -- this is a basically stupid movie, but it is so fast paced and exciting that you forget how stupid it is.

Animal Farm -- I couldn't resist picking this up when I saw it -- an animated version of George Orwell's dark, but enjoyable book. This was one of those old-school animations from the 50s with lots of orchestral music, and very bad animation, along with a stupid narrator and virtually no talking from the animals themselves. I think he could have been good if the animals actually had voices and talked, but this was just absolutely retarded.

Perfume -- a guy has an incredible sense of smell and he kills women to capture their scent and produce the world's most amazing perfume. This is one of the coolest movies I've ever seen. It has us in Hoffman and it as well. The story is interesting and captivating, but the we creation of 18th-century towns where the smells were putrid, and trying to get actual smells across on camera, made this a delight to watch.

Rocky Balboa -- the final chapter in the Rocky story, this was a pretty bad movie. What was interesting is how it follows raki to when he becomes an old man. Adrian has died and Rocky open a restaurant in her name. What's ridiculous is when he actually has to fight somebody at the end. How the hell can a 60-year-old guy fight a young heavyweight champion without getting all of his brittle bones broken? That was stupid.

300 -- this was an awesome movie to watch as the Spartans kicked everyone's ass. It's basically like watching a comic book, but it is really exciting and fun.

Let's go to prison -- this was one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. I thought it might be funny because Will Arnett is in it, of arrested development fame, but unfortunately the story is so stupid and simply not very funny, that I just can't forgive him.

Chapter 27 -- there are two really interesting things about this crap-fest of a movie. First, Jared Leto gained about 40 pounds to play the part of Mark David Chapman, the guy who killed John one. The other really weird thing is that in this movie, the guy who actually plays John Lennon, seen briefly right before Jared Leto pops a cap in his ass at 72nd and Broadway, is actually named Mark Lindsay Chapman. As far as coincidences go, I'd say this is a pretty big one. Anyway, the film basically follows Jared Leto during the few days leading up to when he shot, and in 1980. Much of the movie actually corresponds to parts of catcher in the Rye, which the real Mark Chapman had on him at the time of the shooting, a book which she was obsessed with.

Ghost Rider -- another stupid Nicolas Cage movie, but you can't deny that these Marvel comic movies are pretty fun.

The weatherman -- a little bit "about Schmidt," Nicolas Cage is pretty good in this film. It wasn't all that interesting when I watched it, but afterwards when I started to think about some of the messages, lot of different things fell together and actually made some sense. I liked the main message of the movie, that life is very much like the weather, you can't really predict it.

The contract -- probably the lowest point Morgan Freeman and John Cusack have fallen, this is a stupid story of John Cusack who goes camping with his son in the woods, just as Morgan Freeman, a convicted felon, tries to make his getaway while being transported to a jail. Of course they run into each other and the three of them develop a little bit of a bond. The movie is excruciatingly boring, and has an arbitrary and forced ending.

Flags of our fathers -- this Clint Eastwood Vietnam film revolves around a famous photo of four guys putting up a flag on the top of Iwo Jima after a triumphant battle. The story follows these men and their perceived heroism which turns into superstar status. I enjoyed this film. It was certainly a new spin on the typical Vietnam flick, see Mel Gibson.

Mission impossible 3 -- awesome, just an awesome movie. Although it definitely reminds me of 24 except that these guys can carry out orders in seconds rather than minutes. Fuck CTU, Jack Bauer should recruit some of the guys from the impossible Mission force

Bubba Ho-tep -- this is a bizarre movie where Bruce Campbell, of Army of darkness fame, plays an elderly Elvis in an old age home. It's really two stories that got confused and put into the same movie. The second story is about a Pharaoh king from Egypt who sucks souls from people. The idea is "the King versus the King of the dead", but it was such a stupid movie I couldn't get through all of it. What is interesting is that Bruce Campbell plays Elvis quite well. The story is that the real Elvis switched places with an Elvis impersonator as he was getting older, so that he can maintain a little bit of anonymity and get away from everything he had become sick of. So when the "real Elvis" guide, the actual Elvis kept on living as an impersonator until one day he wrote his head on stage and has wound up in an old age home. It's an interesting take on the Elvis story, and the script is very interesting in its portrayal of a guy in his old age and all the gripes that come with it. I felt like the whole movie should have been about that, but instead they threw in all of this garbage about a mummy going through the old-age home and stealing people's souls.

Riding Giants -- this is a surfing documentary and it is simply unbelievable to watch. Both the footage of people riding insanely large waves as well as the original movie camera footage that the surfing community shot of themselves back in the 60s are incredible to watch.

Baadasssss! - part movie, part documentary about Mario Van Peebles and his father's attempt to make a black power movie back in the early 70s. Mario Van Peebles plays his father. Basically this reminds me a lot of my own movie, it's a movie about making a movie. Things keep going wrong for them, the cast and crew are bootleg, shooting days are cut short, people are quitting, and everything is going wrong. But ultimately the movie gets made, and makes $15 million in the box office and launchis what is known as blaxploitation.

Bend it like Beckham -- for some reason my girlfriend Maddy absolutely loves this movie to death. But I thought this was the cheesiest, and I mean cheesiest, movie I've ever seen. It was like another movie that we saw, goal, but with an Indian chick who couldn't play soccer, rather than a Mexican guy who couldn't play soccer. Far from a feel-good movie, every other line made me cringe and the insane predictability of the whole mess turned my stomach.

Munich -- I actually watched the first half of this movie nearly a year ago, but was so tired I fell asleep. So I resumed watching, and I'm glad I did. Although the facts surrounding the whole story may be somewhat questionable, I still think it made an interesting film.

the tiger brigade (les brigades du tigre) - a cool French film set in the early 1900s about some crooked thieves and a police squad known as the Tiger brigade that tries to solve problems. At least that's what I think it was about, it is entirely possible the subtitles weren't very accurate.

The Brothers Grimm -- this is one of the coolest most exciting movies I've ever seen. Matt Damon and Heath ledger are really funny and the special effects are very cool, not to mention Terry Gilliam is awesome.

War -- a Russian movie about British actors who get kidnapped and sent to a prison camp in Chechnya. This was a really great film.

Hear no evil -- an extraordinarily cheese ball movie about a deaf woman who somehow gets involved with a stolen coin and Martin Sheen, who plays a crooked cop trying to get it at all costs. Terrible, dated movie from the 90s.

Crash -- this was an interesting film to watch since a lot of people really hyped it up for me. I thought it was pretty good but only so far as it is a good conversation starter, but a lot of the situations were statistically improbable on such an insane level that a lot of the movie came across as just absurd.

Babel -- again, lots of people highly recommended this film, but I was pretty bored throughout and felt that, just like crash, while each individual situation may have been somewhat believable, taken as a whole (i.e., Brad Pitt's children just also happened to be involved in the Mexican nanny wedding situation at the exact same time that Brad Pitt's wife gets shot -- give me a break), the whole thing ties itself in a knot when it's trying to make a nice circle.

The death and life of Bobby Z. -- this was one of the most pathetic and simply boring movies I've ever seen. Laurence Fishburne should really be ashamed of himself for being a part of this pile of shit. Paul Walker, of the fast and the furious and other nonsense movies, I can expect to sell out for this garbage. But Laurence, oh Laurence.

Night at the Museum -- I am a big fan of these stupid Ben Stiller slapstick movies, and I enjoyed this one as well. Owen Wilson was hilarious too.

The hitcher -- a stupid but moderately entertaining horror flick about a hitchhiker who is a real nuisance to a pair of drivers in the middle of nowhere.

44 minutes -- a pointless, but interesting and exciting reenactment of the north hollywood shootout in 1997 when the LAPD confronted 2 bankrobbers wearing kevlar and fired thousands of rounds of armor piercing bullets. Michael Madsen, Mr. blonde from Reservoir dogs, is in this one along with Ron Livingston.

The good Shepherd -- this was three hours, and although I watched it in three parts, it was really captivating. Set during World War II, Matt Damon plays a character loosely based on the guy who would create the CIA. Angelina Jolie steps in for a bit, as does Robert DeNiro, who also directs this.

The Matador -- this looks really funny from the trailer, but it was pretty boring and uneventful.

The right stuff -- a 3+ hour film about the early test pilots who go up into space. Shows a really young Dennis Quaid and Ed Harris, and serves as kind of a prequel to Apollo 13. A classic film.

Four brothers -- this was pretty fun, and not nearly as stupid as I expected. Mark Wahlberg is really a great actor and he does quite well in this role as half thug half good guy.

Conair -- stupid and even more stupid. I guess this was fun, but it's like watching Nicolas Cage's career take a nose dive.

Jar head -- awesome movie with Jake Gyllenhaal and Jamie Foxx about going to the Gulf War as snipers and not seeing any action.

Flight of the Phoenix -- for some reason, I thought this movie had some surprise ending, but when I finally got to the end, there was no surprise, it just the stale taste of a bad movie. It was somewhat interesting, and Dennis Quaid is cool, as is Hugh Laurie (better known as Dr. Gregory House), who speaks naturally with his Australian accent. But I read that the original had a lot more impact, no shit.

Sahara -- a really cheesy movie

Anchorman -- I love Will Ferrell no matter what he does, and this movie is no exception. He is hilarious and I thought this was moderately funny. Also, I love how Hollywood, whenever there is a scene involving journalists, has to insert the phrase "I went to Columbia journalism school" to somehow give credibility to the journalist.

The fast and the furious, Tokyo Drift -- this one is a real stretch. I had never heard of "drifting", which is basically racing around really tight curves and requiring lots of skill to skid the tires all over the place, but I can't imagine it can be all have much fun since you never really get very fast.

The Bridge on the River Kwai -- this is an old movie about a POW camp run by the Japanese during World War I near Thailand where the prisoners are building a bridge over a river for the enemy and then the allies blow it up at the end. It was okay, but extraordinarily unrealistic. For example, everybody was so civilized to each other, and the worst that the mean boss would do to the prideful British general who refused to work, was lock him up. I realize back then there were rules dictating how prisoners should be treated, and certainly higher ranking prisoners would be treated differently, but this is a little bit ridiculous.

The world's fastest Indian -- Anthony Hopkins plays an old New Zealand guy who wants to race his motorcycle (called an "Indian") in California. It's his journey out of his little hometown to America and it was surprisingly cute and funny and Hopkins is great in this role.

The Great Raid - this was a cool movie about an american rescue mission - the biggest of its kind - to free 500 POWs from a Japense camp during WWI (ala Bridge Kwai) in, get this, PUERTO PRINCESSA It was a great film and just a wee bit more realistic than Bridge onthe river kwai (notice they are both WWI Japanese POW camps, and yet one is strikingly more brutal than the other... hmmm)

Miami Vice- so bad and meandering it doesnt deserve a review.

Ten til noon - a horrendous indie film about a ten minute period as seen from a bunch of different perspectives, all of whom were terrible actors spouting terrible lines, leading up to the murder or someone who we couldnt give two shits about.

happily never after --awesome animation film ala shrek that was a lot of fun!

the day after tomorrow - uh, sunday? i love this film even though it's so factually incorrect it makes my head hurt. but i love the effects and who doesnt like jake gyllenhall.

deja vu - denzel, you rock, but this whole "i can change the past with this wierd machine that sees 4 days into the past" plot is a bit ridiculous. still, a ton of fun.

death of a president - a documentary about the assasination of president GW bush. yeah, crazy and very convincing but sometimes a bit too cheesy, like when the secret service guy is like "this is our job and we failed... " yada yada, it's a bit strained. but overall a cool idea.

the pentagon papers - pretty cool film about Daniel Ellsberg (James spader) who leaked the pentagon papers to the press after he desperately tried to bring the whole "miscalculation about the war -- we're losing... BAD" thing to senators, his superiors, even kissinger, who all ignored his pleas.

primeval - stupid movie about a tv crew going to film a huge killer alligator in war-torn africa. but it has the guy from Prison Break (the brother who was going to be executed). and AGAIN, when the credibility of the female TV anchor who is going with them to do the story is questioned, she breaks out the line "i went to columbia journalism school," like its a punchline. clearly, none of the hollywood writers know anything about j-school and the job placement of alumni.

stealth - stupid but fun movie about flying fighter jets along with one with AI that likes to think for itself and do what it wants.

American Gun - cool film showing a few different perspecitves on gun control. a tough high school, a gun shop, and a high school kid who's brother did the columbine-esque shooting. cuts from one story tot he next, but the acting is good and it uncovers some interesting debate.

letters from iwo jima - very engaging film by clint eastwood - sort of "the other side" of his "flags of our fathers" film about iwo jima. this is from the japanese side and its pretty interesting.

-----------------------
TV SHOWS

Deadwood season 1 - a little too slow, but pretty cool, good lines, great acting and wonderful set.

the Blue Planet - a BBC documentary series... absolutely breath-taking. i am amazed at the stuff they are able to film.

House - season 1, 2, almost 3 - i love this show even if it is completely unbelievable and formulaic. the lines are amazing, the acting is top notch and it's simply captivating.

Doogie howser season 1 - wow, how did this show get popular? what were we thinking when we watched back in the 80s/90s? it is so dated and so cheesy that its kind of hard to believe that its a similar format to House. maybe house IS the fullgrown doogie? but the ridiculously cheesy lines, cheesy theme music (oh god did the guy playing the keyboard only have two fingers?), and what the F is up with his journal at the end of every episode? what a terrible time he must have had when he red it yaers later. all the entries are 2 lines long and basically dont describe a single thing about that week, just the moral that was learned.

24 - season 1, 2 and half of 3 - maddy and i have come to the conclusion that this show is making is dumber. it really is completely idiotic and i'm not sure why everyone is addicted. they just keep rehashing the same information over and over again, with horrendous acting and dialogue that just gets you from A to B. the entire 24 episodes could make a boring 1.5 hr movie, but instead they make it an excruciating 18 hour series. maddy and i made up a drinking game for it, here are a few rules:

Anytime one of the following happens, you drink:
1) reference to time
2) super cheesy dialogue
3) keeping family safe references
4) anything the blonde chick says
5) using daddy jack bauer to get out of every situation (blondie)
6) going against dad's direct order
7) stupid plot shit - things that make no sense that seem thrown in to keep action going
8) bad music
9) everytime someone dies
10) anytime a new character is introduced
11) decoys
12) dumb questions that are asked
13) dumb answers to those dumb questions ("what do we do now?"/"we stick to the plan")
14) any key words spoken: nuclear, terrorist
15) any cheesy romances that develop

needless to say, we were pretty drunk through most of season 3, but whatever, we're sick of this dumb show and i have no desire to continue watching. F you jack bauer.

Where to begin, it's been such a long time. Sorry for the long wait, I'm going to try to do my best to play catch up on all of the fun and interesting stuff that's been going on here in China, as well as be a little bit more consistent with writing stuff on my blog. There is a lot to report, but I guess I'll just start with the Philippines.

That's right, Maddy and I decided to go to the Philippines for a week, about two weeks ago. In China, Labor Day is actually a week long, and everybody gets off. So we thought it would be fun to go somewhere cheap, exotic, and a place that would be a little bit too far if we were traveling from the states.

So we booked round-trip tickets from Hong Kong which cost us just about $200, and headed off to Hong Kong where we spent two days hanging out. Maddy actually had a trade show to attend on that Saturday, so she left me by myself to explore the city alone. Hong Kong is basically like a Chinese version of New York City. It's far less crappy than Chinese cities, but nowhere near as cool as New York or other major American cities, in my humble opinion.

I basically walked from one and to the other, check out the botanical Gardens, the escalators that go up the road, and a bunch of other stuff. For me to really enjoy the city, it needs to be walker friendly. That means there needs to be some kind of priority with regards to the pedestrian. In Shenzhen, where cars pretty much dominate the landscape, you really can't walk anywhere which is both frustrating and extraordinarily dangerous when you have no choice. But in Hong Kong, there are places to walk, but it seems that cars pretty much still take priority. There are places to cross the street, but in order to cross these mega-highway's, big overpass structures had to be built which is a real pain in the ass when you're walking because they are basically these mazes that you have to walk through in order to get to the other side of any road.

The escalators are basically moving sidewalks built like an overpass over the sidewalks that go up pretty steep inclines. They lead to an interesting area where we had some food a few times. As I walked from one end to the other, I looked up and noticed that things looked strangely like mainland China, there were virtually no tourists, and it smelled pretty bad. I realized I had walked too far, out of the main Hong Kong area and into the Chinese area, and I had to turn back. That's when I ran into an odd character standing in the middle of the street with a pair of sunglasses, a tank top and extraordinarily short blue shorts. He was holding a long white stick and directing traffic. He was like Richard Simmons but it in Hong Kong, and standing in the middle of the street.

The botanical gardens were pretty cool. They had some interesting animals including ducks and lots of flowers.

There was a guy in a little shop selling basketball jerseys who was wearing a pretty funny shirt: "my game's so sweet it'll give you cavities."

Maddy and I took the ferry across to the other side of Hong Kong and checked out the Museum of science, or something like that. It was basically a rundown museum that didn't seem to have been updated in about 20 years. All of the spaceships and hands-on exhibits were extremely dated and most of the things were broken. It was actually quite amusing and Maddy and I made a lot of jokes about how shitty it was.

THE PHILIPPINES:

Sure, there was a United States travel warning saying that the Philippines was a pretty dangerous place to go due to terrorist activity, and especially bad during this time because May 16 was the elections. But we decided to take the small risk, (the terrorist activity they are talking about happens down south, and certainly there hasn't been anything reported in the tourist spots that we would be going to).

On Sunday, Maddy and I left for the Philippines. We got to Manila, the capital of the Philippines. I decided when we first planned our trip that we were going to spend as little as possible in this major city, since I just assumed that an Asian city of upwards of 18 million people has got to be more disgusting than Bangkok, and I hated Bangkok. So we braved one night because we couldn't get an immediate flight out to our main destination, Palawan.

We stayed at a decent hotel for about $50, and went out to dinner at a nice little place that had a dancing performance.

The next day we headed back to the airport and got our asses over to Puerto Princessa, Palawan. A driver from the resort we were staying at picked us up and we went for a 2 1/2 Hour Drive up the island and then west, crossing through a dirt road in our four-wheel-drive Jeep.

We stayed at a place called summer homes which literally looked like it was out of a postcard. Most of the time, you see a postcard of the place, and it never really looks like the place. It is always going to be lots of tourists on the beach, or the place will be kind of dirty, or the weather won't be as nice, or the water isn't clear. This place was as close to paradise I think we will ever get to visit.

The scenery:
the basic setting was a very small village that was virtually carless. There were about three or four little tiny resorts like ours. When I say resort, I mean about a dozen little cottages and a few rooms that altogether might hold 30 to 40 people. When we were there, there was virtually nobody staying in the entire town. We ran into a few tourists, but absolutely nothing like Koh samui or Koh Tao in Thailand. We were routinely the only people on the beach, we had boats to ourselves, and most of the time entire islands all to ourselves. The beaches were pristine, the water was clear, you could see fish and coral from the boat. The weather was perfect -- about 85° every day, with a lot of sun. there were geckos all over the place, around our room, all over the dining area, on the ceilings, around the walls. All over the place. But that was nice because they ate the bugs, which were not all over the place.

Our boat trips:
every day we went out on a boat, just us, a boatmen, and one or two people from the resort to cook the lunch and help out. The first day, we went snorkeling. Unlike Thailand where we snorkeled off of Koh Tao with a group of about 30 people, for this trip we were completely alone. Another day, we went island hopping. There are something like 18 little islands all around Port Barton, which was where we were staying. Each island was about the size of a football field. We could basically point to any place and say we wanted to go there. The beaches were completely empty and the water was as warm as bathwater, literally around 75°. One day we went to the "underwater river," literally a 30 foot wide river that flows underneath a mountain. it was pitch black inside, just like a cave, and I had to hold a little light as the tour guide pointed out all of the interesting stalagmite and stalactite formations that resembled objects. it was kind of amusing, since the tour guide didn't really explain anything about the formation of the cave or anything about the natural ecology of the area. The entire tour consisted of pointing out formations and saying how they looked like things. so we would be going and he'd say oh, that is the Virgin Mary, that is a mushroom, that is a nun praying, that is a mango, etc. there must have been about a hundred of these things. outside at the lunch area, a bunch of little monkeys and huge monitor lizards were crawling very close to our food and trying to get a bite. on the another outing, we trekked about 2 km to a secluded waterfall. Again, really cool, gorgeous, and completely isolated -- it was us and our tour guide, that was it. Along the way, we would pass these long lines of little buoys. It turns out, they are oyster pearl farms.

The PACKAGE:
we got a package deal. It included five nights, six days, and everything was included in the package. And when I say everything, I really mean everything. The 2 1/2 hour drive from the airport, three full meals a day that we could take off of the menu (which was a very long menu and amazingly delicious -- I will get to that later), and island hopping/boat trips by ourselves everyday. for food, we could take anything on the menu, and eat as much as we wanted, all was included, except for drinks. when we finally got our bill for six days, all of the boat riding, all of the drinks, all of the food, the Jeep ride to and from the airport, the room, the snorkel gear, Internet access, all of that. it came to $380 per person. unbelievably, it was as if we were millionaires on vacation, sparing no expense, and yet it cost almost nothing compared to any other place offering a fraction of the beauty and activities.

The food:
this place had a little restaurant and kitchen, but their menu was substantial, offering Filipino dishes, Western meals, Thai food, and all kinds of other dishes. The food was amazing. First of all, it was all freshly prepared. Fresh. When you ordered a coconut shake, somebody actually climbed one of the coconut trees and got a fresh coconut. When I ordered potato salad, they actually boiled potatoes from scratch to make the dish, which was served steaming. The pancakes in the morning were unbelievable. Whenever we went on day trips, they would pack a lunch for us and cook it when we got hungry. On our last night, they prepared a whole barbecue just for us and we dined outside by candlelight. They bought a squid specifically at Maddy's request. (I wouldn't eat that shit!)

Final thought:
Maddy and I both agreed, this was the most amazing vacation we have ever been on. Port Barton, Palawan offers the most beautiful scenery and beaches and costs a fraction of what Thailand or most other similar vacation spots would cost.