nyc half marathon

Last Sunday was the NYC Half Marathon where 10,000 people ran 13.1 miles (around central park, then out through 7th avenue and around times square, then down 5 miles of the west side highway to battery park).

After Greg's awesome bachelor party weekend, which was white water rafting up in Saratoga Springs/Lake George area, getting very little sleep and driving a LOT, Jon and I managed to get back to NYC at around midnight Saturday night. WOke up at 5:45am and headed off to the start of the race.

I'd say we did pretty damn well for being exhausted, and having just spent 6 hours rafting the day before (we were pretty sore).

Jon: 1:48
Me: 1:51 (i think about the same time i did last year)

Here's a picture of me kicking ass at the end where I smoked a bunch of people.

a productive thursday

This past Thursday was one of my most productive days in weeks.

First, my sister Laura and I went for a 6 mile walk in the morning around the central Park Loop. Then I met up with a guy from craigslist who wanted to buy my 13" TV/VCR for $15. You see, I am trying to get rid of a lot of the junk that has piled up in this apartment over the last few years. Before I even moved in there was a ton of stuff that was just left over from the previous tenants, but during my stay, all the roommates that have come and gone have also left some belongings. So I'm trying to clean out a lot of the apartment before Maddy gets here so she'll have a clean slate to begin her decorating. Anyway, this guy met me downstairs in his car. He was Asian, but I would actually bet money he was Chinese based solely on how rude and impatient he was. It's not that all Chinese people are rude (and I'm talking about Chinese Chinese people, not Chinese Americans), it's just that if someone is Asian and they are extremely rude, chances are they are Chinese and not Korean or Japanese.

After the transaction, I met up with Greg (who had his bachelor party this past weekend). He just took the bar exam and is looking for a place in the city to move in with his soon-to-be wife, and he just happens to be checking out a place two blocks away from me, at 106 and Broadway. The apartment looked pretty awesome, very spacious, great location, and just really nice. We headed down to the Museum of Natural History to check out the frog exhibit. I used my awesome Citigroup ID to get us in for half price. The frogs were actually pretty damn cool. There were a lot of poison dart frogs that are really small and very colorful.

We walked back up town and met up with Greg's friend Tali, who just happen to be checking out apartments with her boyfriend right around the corner from me. So I figured what the hell, I'll check out what these other apartments look like and what they are going for. There were 20 people waiting at the building for the broker to show up. It was a pretty unbelievable sight to see in a few dozen people shuffle into a tiny studio apartment. The prices seemed pretty reasonable for a studio and a one-bedroom, but they just weren't all that great and the second apartment was in a pretty bad location. You can kind of tell as we all walked over to it, as a bunch of kids were playing with a fire hydrant and spraying people with water as they walked by on the opposite side of the street. Also, the broker was a huge asshole, which I guess can be expected, but that's ridiculous.

I then headed back downtown to 57th street to pick up my race number and information for the half marathon on Sunday. I was waiting for the walk signal while walking west on 57th St and I just happened to turn around and look behind me, and as luck would have it my friend Nina was standing directly behind me! I looked at her incredulously and she looked at me and said "seriously?" So we chatted up for a little while since I haven't seen her in almost a year. I gave the usual spiel about how China sucks and don't ever go and visit. She said she went skydiving. When we were sufficiently caught up, she asked me if my sister was still cleaning apartments, because her apartment desperately needed help.

Then I headed over to the Nike store to pick up my race information, and walked down to 36 and third to meet my mom and sister at Patsy's pizza restaurant. My mom was in the city because she had just made her first digital camera purchase (from B&H). She explain how she spent hours in the store, armed with several issues of consumer reports and went through each and every model of the point-and-shoot digital cameras to find the best value and one that would suit her needs. It will probably take her about a year to figure out how it all works.

Next, I continued walking downtown to meet up with my friend Pete, who I hadn't seen since before I left for China. He is a lawyer and works long hours, so we just never got a chance to meet up. But he said he recently got on a kick of mixing drinks and making up interesting cocktails and that if I came by his apartment (in the LES, which is insanely far from my apartment) he would make me a few. So I picked up some lime and mint for his concoctions and we drank and played Guitar Hero on his Xbox. Guitar hero is such a whack game - you just tap the shit out of the neck of a guitar, just like clicking a mouse at a feverish pace. So obviously it made my hand hurt. But it was kind of cool and there was a lot of good music.

Heading back was a real trip and a half. Because of construction, the uptown A/C trains were not running local past 59th St. So I usually just switched to the 1 train, but that was out of service also. So I had to get out and take the M7 bus. The whole journey was about an hour and a half.

On my run today in unbelievably warm 70 degree NYC winter weather, I ran/bumped (whatever) into Joke (pronounced Yoka) and Anuj (pronounced a noodge). Joke was the first attractive girl I met at Hopkins and Anuj was the first student I met at Hopkins (right when I got out of the car just before orientation began). I haven't seen them in over a year and a half at least. They're married and live in Amsterdam but were visiting NYC for a few weeks and just walking around the park. This is why I love running central park -- the random run-ins!

While re-editing the piece for turnhere.com about running in central park, I found a nice little clip of me explaining how I started running, which I discuss... while I am running. how self-referential. Enjoy.

I was going through some footage of a central park video I made with a friend a few months back. We needed to get some footage of the Reservoir so my friend went and shot some while I stayed back on the road and hung out with the rickshaw driver guy we had hired for the day (long story).

Anyway, I'm going through the footage today and I notice a familiar guy's back running away from the camera on the reservoir. I took a screen capture of it and sent it to my friend Evan to see if he recognized himself and sure enough it was him! What are the odds of catching him running on the reservoir the same time my friend is actually filming!

So for your viewing pleasure.... evan's bare back while he runs past the camera. Enjoy!

Hmmmm.... this guy looks so familiar. Yep, it's Bobby "10 minutes behind Jeff" Flay. haha.

Where did Gallagher come from?

It's "where's waldo," but Jeff instead of Waldo.


Marathon photos baby! Yeehaw, mile 20!

Well, I finished the marathon… in 4 hrs and 56 seconds. Let’s just round it down and say I did a 4 hr marathon. Hell yeah.

OFFICIAL RESULTS:
Here’s my official time breakdown:
Place: 12,495 (out of 37,000)
Official time: 4:00:56
Pace: 9:11/mile
Half marathon: 2:00:55

RUNDOWN:
The run went well. It was perfect weather. Cool, mid 40s to start, clear day and sunny. The first 10 miles were fine but I realize now I went a bit slow on them than I should have. Teresa was supposed to jump in at mile 11 but she wasn’t there! (I found out later that she couldn’t find where the mile 11 marker was and waited on Bedford and 5th, maybe 10 blocks from the marker. Oh well.) At the water stop around 70th street, some dude spilled a cup of gatorade on me from behind. He said sorry but that didn’t seem to make me feel better. I now looked like I had peed my pants, had yellow liquid running down my leg, which made my leg all sticky and on top of that, it was cold out so the liquid just made my leg even colder. Damn Gatorade. I managed to see my parents shortly after the incident at 1st Ave around 78th street. But I thought Jon was going to be with them because he wanted to jump in and run with me for a bit and I had told him to wait with them. I didn’t see him and scanned the next few blocks for him, but figured it was going to be another Teresa mishap and just focused on running. Out of nowhere, around 85th street, I hear Jon behind me say something. I can’t remember what it was, but I was elated he was there. He then ran with me for the next 8 miles, up until the last .2 miles where an organizer noticed he had no number and told him to get off the route. He was so helpful – I definitely would have slowed down if he weren’t running with me. Last year, my biggest mistake was stopping twice to walk a bit, thinking I wouldn’t lose much time. But this time, the last 4 miles I didn’t stop for water nor slowed down. I actually saw Teresa at Central Park South (about ½ mile from the finish), which was great. And I finished. Hopefully with a smile and a decent photo.

My nipples didn’t bleed, thank god, although I totally forgot to put Vaseline on them. I realized about 3 miles into the race that I forgot and it would probably be a problem, so I grabbed a stick of Vaseline from one of the medics on the sidelines.

The funniest part of the race was watching two guys dressed as the Blues Brothers take a piss on the side of the highway about a few miles into the race. They were standing there together, peeing on the cement on the side of the road. Hilarious.

Also hilarious is the video Jon took of me and him running. That is here for your viewing enjoyment.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NsgziUyGaE



I had a slightly negative split – I ran the second half faster than my first half—which basically means I should have run a bit faster in the beginning. It’s a long race though, so it’s really tough to gauge how fast the first few miles should be.

When I finished, I waited with my dad, Jon and Doree for a while. My sister finished at 5:42 which is faster than her last marathon in Arizona. Pretty impressive since NY is a much tougher course (not flat at all) and she beat her last time by a lot.

BOBBY FLAY RUNS TOO:
My sister’s friend said something like “did you see bobby flay in the race,” which I thought was a joke, since I look like him. But she was totally serious. I said no.

Turns out, Bobby Flay actually runs the NYC marathon!

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/local/story/468065p-393913c.html

This is funny for several reasons:
1) he is my doppelganger.
2) When I was on Iron Chef, Cat Cora (the female iron chef), would tell me I’m too skinny to be Bobby Flay. I told her it was because I’m training for a marathon.
3) I beat him by 10 minutes, but he’s older and wider than me so I probably should have beat him by more!

LANCE:
Lance just barely broke 3 hours and said it was the hardest thing he’s ever done. That’s a lot to say coming from him. Read what else he said. He’s cool even if he juiced up for this.

http://www.nycmarathon.org/news/story_27
http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/468725p-394425c.html

COOL BAND:
There were some great bands that performed on the marathon route. Teresa said she really liked the one that she was standing near for a while waiting for me. I believe they are “Lewd Buddha,” a funk fusion band that rocks. I listened to some songs off their website and decided they were good enough to invest in. So I bought their album on CDBaby (one of the few albums I’ve actually purchased over the last 5 years) for $10 including shipping. I even emailed them to say they rocked. http://www.lewdbuddha.com/

I’m running in the NYC Marathon this Sunday. You should all come out and watch, it should be a lot of fun.

This will be my fourth marathon and second NY Marathon. I’ve trained a lot for this one and I’m feeling better than ever. I’ve gotten rid of some of the summer weight I gained while tanning (burning) in Barcelona eating tuna and guzzling barrels of wine and wheels of cheese with old college friends in France. (I certainly gained no weight from my girlfriend’s cooking—whole wheat muffins sweetened with molasses.)

Running is a lifestyle, and training for a marathon is a lifestyle change. Consistency is the key to success. Missing a run one day is bad. Missing several runs or not keeping up the training can cause you to fall behind and not be adequately prepared. You probably won’t get a great body by running. You’ll lose weight, but it won’t necessarily show. Your resting heart rate slows significantly and your lung capacity improves. Your threshold for pain goes up and you rarely get sick.

But what is Sunday going to be like? Let me paint you a picture of the experience of running a marathon. You feel great for the first 15 miles. If you can’t do 14 or 15 miles without breaking a sweat, you’re probably in the wrong race. So everyone starts out looking good. Your motion is smooth, your legs are strong, your breathing is easy. 2.5 million people are cheering and it’s the happiest time. Then mile 18 comes along and all of a sudden things get painful and you fatigue. Your legs start aching, it feels like the route is entirely uphill now, and you start wondering why you thought this would be fun.

Mile 21 kills. That’s where you can’t ignore the pain and fatigue anymore. They are deafening and become all you think about. By mile 23-24, you begin rationalizing: it wouldn’t be so bad if I stopped this race right now. I’ll still have done a lot. I’ll still have succeeded and accomplished so much. You think “what difference does it make… I’ve done all the training. That was the hard part. This is just another 3 miles. What’s the big deal if I don’t do it.”

A marathon is many things for the people running it. For some, it’s a race. For others, it’s a one-time accomplishment, to see if they can do it. For me, it’s an attempt to beat my personal record. But for everyone, it’s painful.

Pain is generally a hard thing to describe. Humans are wired to not be able to recall the experience of pain. We can conjure up old images in our heads, hum songs we heard a long time ago, recite phrases. Even remember how things smell. But trying to remember how a certain pain felt is very difficult. Thank god.

Pain is what a marathon ends up being about. When I ran the Arizona Marathon last year with my sister, she complained that her legs hurt, her head hurt, her feet hurt. I turned to her incredulously and said “do you think this is a walk in the park for all those people behind you?” I explained that this race is special because we are experiencing a kind of pain that takes 23 miles of running to feel. It takes hours of hard exercise to attain the level of stress and sting that we were feeling throughout our legs. Few will ever achieve that agony in their lives. It’s not like breaking your leg. It’s a club that comes with a high price to pay in determination and discomfort.

But the reward… oh that sweet, delicious reward. At mile 25.2, with just 1 mile left, every step forward feels like you’re climbing a flight of stairs. An eternity passes each moment. You are at your slowest pace but you feel like you’re sprinting. The finish line comes into view and finally an end to the misery is in sight. But it is a mirage. It approaches slowly. It barely moves. You’re in a dream, treading water and going nowhere fast.

And then it’s over. Maybe you noticed a camera taking your photo and put your arms up and smiled, but maybe you were too busy drowning out the excruciating pain to notice anything. When I crossed the line last year after 4 hours 11 minutes, my legs buckled and I couldn’t stand straight. I kept wobbling and knocking into people as we made our way, slowly, to the street. Then I cried. It was easily the biggest thing I’d ever accomplished.

I’m hoping to break 4 hours on Sunday. The numbers are in my favor. I ran a 1:52 half marathon in late August, then a 1:50 half marathon 2 weeks later in miserable pouring rain. Both shoes were soaked, one nipple was bleeding. I ran a 5:50 mile on 5^th avenue. I ran a 10 mile leg of a relay marathon (my 2 sisters and father ran the other 3 legs) at just under 8 minute pace.

Teresa will be jumping in and running a stretch with me, probably around mile 11 hopefully til the end. Feel free to do the same if you see us. I’ll be wearing a white shirt.

I’m ready for the burn on Sunday and I’m ready to have a personal record. Come out and watch. Check out www.nycmarathon.org and www.mta.info (click on the marathon subway map link). Or if you’re really lazy, just come to the end. Official start time is 10:10am so I’ll hopefully finish by 2:15pm. Go to the reunion spot under the letter “N”

Today was another super productive day:
1- did iron chef america at 8am
2- tutored for 2 hours
3- went home and took a nap
4- got up and called one of my contacts in florida to figure out what story i'm going to do when i get there.
5- ran 3 miles
6- tutored another 3 hours
7- watched the adam sandler movie "Click" that came out a few months ago -- on my iAudio on the bus/subway rides. it's a depressing movie about how you dont want work to come before your family. i took some good lessons away from the film. thanks adam.

i am totally exhausted now. florida is in 1 day... gotta get prepared!

On Sunday, I ran in the Mysic County Marathon in Mystic, Connecticut with my two sisters and my father. The four of us managed to finish in 4:17... not bad. I did the last 2 legs of the 5 leg relay, about 10 miles, in just under 8 minute pace, so I kicked ass. It was a fun family outing with the whole family including our dog, who posed in a few photos as well. Our team was "The Novich Attack" and my little sister made our shirts. We each had our "names" on the back of the shirts: Dr. Funk (dad), J. Funk (older sis), Ms. Funk (younger sis) and Funk, Jr (me). It was amusing to run past people as they would invariable say "go Funk, jr.." or "go team funk", believing that "Funk" was our family name. In fact, my little sister was approached by another runner who said "oh, is Funk your last name? My last name is Funk too!" haha.

The run itself was quite scenic, passing through quiet little roads and for a short stretch along a beach. The weather was perfect for running - calm, clear skies, low 50s. The problem was with the relay part. My leg was at mile 16 which means I had to wait about 3 hours for my older sister to finally arrive. Waiting around really sucked: I hadn't eaten or drank anything, expecting there would be at least some water at the waiting spot. No dice. There wasn't a single race person directing people or helping out (ie, telling you where the bus was picking you up), and there was ONE lone port-a-potty. There were a few tents and a small stage set up, but we came to the conclusion that this was part of last night's festivities with the church and had nothing to do with the race. So there I sat, on my PDA, chatting with maddy in china on skype while picking up some friendly neighborhood wifi from, perhaps, the church or bed-and-breakfast across the street. Finally around 1pm, still having not eaten or drank any water, I start my leg. I must have passed over 100 people -- sadly because they were all in the final 10 miles and I had just started. Those poor runners were saying things like "wow, you go!" or "boy you have some real energy, nice job!" not realizing i had just started.

All in all it was a beautiful day, a great run, and a wonderful weekend spent with family (and dog). We didnt' even come close to winning the "family relay" award. That went to a team of skinny people who did it in around 3 hours or so. A 75 year old ran it in just over 3 hours. But we came away satisfied with having accomplished something few families can do. Go team Funk.

Here are my photos from the half marathon this week. I look awesome!

Ask me what it's like to run 17 miles in pouring rain. No, let me save you the trouble. It blows.

This morning I ran a half marathon, Grete’s Great Gallop, with the New York Road runners. It was the Norwegian Festival half marathon and was two laps around Central Park starting at 8:45 a.m. I woke up a bit early and jogged about 2 1/2 miles to the starting line at 70th St and Fifth Avenue. It was misting and raining a little bit, but nothing too terrible. I got to the starting line with about 10 minutes to spare, and that's when the heavens opened up. For the 10 minutes before the race started we all stood there under a torrential downpour. Any part of my body that might have been dry when I arrived was now soaking wet, through my shoes, my socks, my favorite Syracuse mesh shorts and my favorite running T-shirt. All soaked. I probably added about 2 pounds of water weight.

As soon as the race began, the rain ended. What luck. But throughout the run there were periods of heavy rain to keep us drenched.

Early on I decided this would probably not be one of my better races, and that I was really just looking to do a 16 mile training run for the marathon. I figured between the heavy rain, my being exhausted from the one-mile run the day before, and having jogged a few miles before even starting, my time would probably not be very good. But I kept on trucking, kept up with the pack, zoned out between miles 6 through 11 and started thinking about some chapters for a book I'd like to write. But at each mile marker, my time was actually pretty good. When we neared the end, I realized I might actually be able to break 1:50, which is about 8min 20 sec pace per mile.

Almost. I came in at 1:50:25, which is 8:25 per mile. I really kicked ass! I finished up, had some Gatorade, peed, and continued jogging home for another 2.5 miles.

On my way back, I noticed my nipple was bleeding. Yes, this is probably the grossest injury anyone can have during a race. There was blood running down my white shirt, but luckily it didn't hurt at all. I felt pretty happy about this, as I was a nipple bleeding virgin up until this point. What an exciting time. But I realized that the photo of me finishing the race would probably show my bloody shirt in full view. I can't wait to see it.

A 5:50 mile!

I totally kicked ass today at the Fifth Avenue mile. I ran it in 5 minutes 50 seconds with my friend Jon.

It was the first time I've tried to just run 1 mile since high school, when we had to run 1 mile for gym class in under 10 minutes in order to pass the mandatory evaluations. Back in high school, I think it took me a second attempt to break 10 minutes.

The reason a one-mile run is so difficult is because it's too short to really try to pace yourself, but too long to do an all-out sprint. When Jon and I passed the finish line, we were breathing so heavy our throats were burning like a smoker's. We decided it had less to do with New York City air and more to do with the fact that we simply never pushed ourselves that hard to breathe that heavily. It took a good hour and a half for my throat to stop burning.

Here are some awesome photos of me and Jon in action. You can see how much I'm beating Jon. That's because I'm awesome and awesome guys come in first. Yes, I'm an entire second better than Jon.