Jeff's Life

Stuff I do... I'm interesting, I swear.

Friday, December 29, 2006

USPS still sucks...

if you remember, i tried sending maddy a package to china. i insured it for $200 because i wasnt too sure of the post office people and it was an expensive gift. of course they ended up losing it. i filed an insurance claim. the way it works is: the USPS sends an inquiry letter to china asking the whereabouts of the package. then china (nobody in particular, just the entire country apparently), has 60 days to respond. i love the inefficiency. and of course this is something i have to now worry about and check on every so often otherwise i lose my money. meanwhile, maddy still has gotten nothing from me because i figure fuck it, i'll bring her stuff when i see her.

so i just called the USPS to check onthe claim. turns out their ENTIRE COMPUTER SYSTEM is down. i called yesterday and the woman says "it's down, call back later." I asked "when's later". she's like "a later time." I'm like, real helpful. So i called back today and AFTER you get through their insanely long annoying automated unhelpful menu system, you get a recorded message saying "all our systems are down, try back later." God I hate them so much.

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Saturday, December 23, 2006

Tonight I went with my cousins and aunt and uncle to the Jazz Standard at 27th and Lex to see the Robert Glasper Experiment. I have an interest in jazz whenever my cousin Ben (a real musician who is touring with "Hairspray") comes to town and wants to see a good show. These guys were just a little too far out of my comfort zone to be enjoyable. I like traditional jazz, but I just don't have the ear to appreciate stuff that is 'experimental'. But everyone seemed to love it so maybe I don't know what I'm talking about.

Later we went across the street to Via 27, had some beers, then went over to Aspen to meet up with Avi. The place was filled to the brim with kids - NY prep school kids who had just finished their first semester of college and were back for the holidays. Everyone was insanely young, and very drunk and often belligerent. Ah the young-uns.

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Friday, December 22, 2006

I've been doing some reading. I know, crazy. I just read Ray Anderson's "A Mid-Course Correction." Here is a guy who is the CEO of the world's largest carpet manufacturing company and he decided to convert his business (which generates huge pollution and is pretty much the worst type of business next to paper-making for the environment) into a wholly sustainable one -- eliminating all pollution and any kind of 'waste' be it particles, pollution, or energy. He was interviewed in the film "The Corporation," and he is certainly a very amicable and respectable guy. The only problem is, he's not a writer. This book reads like a 200 page email -- or worse, like a blog -- about Anderson's views on the environment, which are entirely derivative of several big writers who he has befriended. His vision came after reading Paul Hawken's "the ecology of commerce," an absolutely amazing book -- but Hawken read 25 million words before penning his book. Anderson basically repeats a lot of stuff that is common knowledge in the enviro world, and through pretty bad writing he combs through what sounds like reviews of the books he read, ideas about his company, ideas on environmental issues, and basically goes over the same 4 points about 236 times by the time you get to the end. Poor guy. I think he's the best CEO I as a consumer could hope that these awful businesses have. I just don't care for his writing.

Next we have a guy named Bob Fellows, a magician and 'mind reader'/motivational speaker who I saw perform at Hopkins during our orientation in 1998. I'm not sure how many of my classmates even remember this guy, but he was awesome and I vowed to track him down and see another of his shows nearly 5 years later. I kinda did. I tracked him down (it was hard because I didnt even know his name, so I had to look through articles from orientation that were published inthe Hopkins administrative newspaper and lists of events to figure out who the guy was.) Finally, I emailed him about 2 years ago, a very friendly email saying how awesome his show was and how I wanted to see another, and asked when his next college tour would be in NYC. He wrote back, told me a show coming up and I, of course, missed it. So recently I did the next best thing: I bought a book he wrote called "Easily Fooled," which sounded pretty much like his show from Hopkins. It was a 50 pg book with illustrations, so it was an easy read, but Fellows goes through a few cool ideas about 'the magician's choice' where you ask the person to choose something (that appears like they have control over the choice, like a deck of cards), but in reality the magician has only allowed for a particular outcome.

Finally, I'm now halfway through a Bill Orielly book "Who's looking out for you?" I figured I'd give him a shot, just to see what he's all about even though he's a scumbag and, more importantly, an idiot. What is incredible about his writing is a) how he comes across as if he is omniscient and simply knows all facts always and knows truth always, b) that he is so insanely self-righteous, self-indulgent, and obviously self-centered, c) how he believes he has some kind of connection with the common man.

That, and the fact that he doesnt have a single footnote or endnote, or reference to any of the historical 'facts' he spews. sure, he could be right, but every non-fiction book I read has footnotes or at least a bibliography. And O'rielly is supposedly a journalist, which means he should be damn certain everything he says is correct. But obviously that's not true.

Anyway, the main thing I do when I read a book (and this is the one thing I learned from j-school) is to question everything. "how do you know that?" is one line. When you read something, a fact, a statistic, a story about a historical figure, a historical event, unless it is about the person writing it, or is inside of a quote, your duty as a reader is to ask 'where's the proof.' For most books written by reasonable people, it's not so hard. They usually lay it out for you at the end or mostly right there on the page "The surgeon general said in his report in 1962 that smoking causes cancer." Ok, fair enough, easy to check.

But Oreilly and all these other idiots (on both sides) who write books and the Michael Moore's who make their 'documentaries' are really just pushing propoganda -- it tends to be highly biased but can stray to being outright lies and misinformation. mis-interpreting something can be forgiven, but mis-representing the truth is really bad. Like mis-quoting someone, or taking things out of context which moore excels at. O'reilly simply doesnt read the other side or tells them to shut up, or cuts their mic.

I just dont see how anyone could read this and think any of it is true. For some odd reason, there is zero accountability for O'reilly - he can say whatever he wants about events. The most credibility you get from this guy is on page 6 when he writes some nonsense about the Pope:

"BUT I COULD BE WRONG." he says. yes, I suppose you could, bill, but I'd rather not rely on that as your defense. I'd rather it be something like "I didn't factor in the research about birds and wind turbines when writing about how they have no effect on wildlife" or "The scientist I spoke to about this environmental issue who said global warming isn't a threat -- turns out he was getting funding from Exxon, so I should have gotten a few other opinions before committing to one." Those are the kinds of "I'm sorry"s you get from journalists.

Ok, I'm done. I'll tell you how the book ends!!

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

On Thursday, I went with Hoff to see Dick Valentine (frontman for Electric 6, one of my favorite bands) perform at Joe's Pub in the village. It was a pretty intimate show, not even close to sold out, and Hoff and I sat comfortably at a table. One of the songs he played was, I believe, one he wrote (not a cover) and one of the funniest songs I've heard in a while -- impressive, since every Electric 6 song is amazingly funny.

I took the liberty of transcribing the lyrics:

I met a girl named Gabrielle
She was dressed in black and young as hell
She took me to her dormicile
Invited me to stay a while
She fed me breakfast and fed me wine
And later on we took the time
We explored each others area
Ran into a language barrier
It can be so frustrating
When we insist on communicating
But I do not parles vous you, oh

I don’t speak French
But somehow I got on the good side
I don’t speak French
But theres only one thing on her mind

Vou les vous, mon amie, bon swa baby
Is all I know how to say right now
But you get better I’m learning how ?
Cause where I’m from the thing to do
Is paint yourself red white and blue
How bout you? Can you say you do the same thing too?
I’m just your average yankee
Trapped in a world of French hanky panky
But I do not parles vous you, oh

I don’t speak French
But I’ve got a shitload of Euros
I don’t speak French
But that doesn’t matter to French girls



Here are 2 parts of the show. enjoy!



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Thursday, December 14, 2006

My ebay auction - go me, my LG eNV phone closed for $325. I only paid verizon $50 for it! Sweet.

Only problem is, I still only have my old Kyocera slider phone that works well, but really doesn't work that great. It works well as a phone, but, for instance, text messaging is a tedious exercise in patience. You punch out a few letters and then stop to wait for the puny microprocessor to catch up and actually see the letters on the screen. Other than that, it's basically fine and should last another two years. Then I'll be up for the "new every 2" deal with Verizon and can sell another phone on ebay. haha.

I decided to stop by a local Verizon retailer to see how much a new phone with no rebates, no plans, no discounts, would cost. The guy said the LG phone that I sold (which i said I had gotten but then lost and I had no insurance) would cost $350. I asked what the cheapest was. He pointed to a crappy little Nokia phone that had a big $20 pricetag (if you get it with a plan) and said that costs $115. That's kinda insane. Ebay is probably the best place to get new phones and the person who paid me $325 probably got a pretty good deal, all things considered.

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Music:

I've been listening to this new Aussie band "The Mars Volta," and they are unbelievable. They sound kinda like Rush with a little Scissor Sisters mixed in and really high energy with songs that go on for 10 minutes. I gotta get my hands on more of their stuff...

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006







The other night I had a little sushi night of my own. Instead of going out to the typical all-you-can-eat place on the upper east side, I decided to make sushi myself. It turned out well, as you can see from how content the people look in these photos. People were very impressed with how good the fish and rolls were. I even got ginger and fake crab. But I forgot to get wasabi. Oh well.

I had salmon, tuna, fake crab, avacado, cucumber and sesame seeds. can't forget the sesame seeds.

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Sunday, December 10, 2006

A wasted night -- sort of. There was a party tonight at Jen's place. She is going to Australia for a semester (law school) and this was a holiday/going away party. It started really early, around 5, but of course I decided to read up on tax forms and before I knew it, it was already 9pm. Figuring on a plan B, I called pete who lives in the lower east side too. He said he was hanging out at his place and to come on over. So at about 10 i left my apt, hopped on the A then F and got out about an hour later at Delancey, (right next door to chinatown).

I called Pete. No answer. I texted Jen. She texts back "party's over, I'm home." I called Felissa. No answer. Avi was around but further uptown. Just when I thought, wow, I'm really glad I took a shower and put on a clean shirt, Maddy calls. She is sick from a ginger soup she had (not food poisoning, she doesnt think, just a bad reaction to the food itself). I put on my headset and walked about 3 miles with her on the phone, giving her a tour of the Lower east side as it turned into the east village, then murray hill, then west towards Macys and finally penn station (which was our home away from home back when she still lived in Long Island and had to take the train to the city).

Now I'm home. After several hours of "being out," I haven't had a single drink or even stepped inside a bar. I haven't even physically seen anyone I know. But I did have a wonderful conversation with my girlfriend while walking through the hustle and bustle of new york's nightlife. Good times.

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Friday, December 08, 2006

So I got a funny email the other day. It was from my buddy Dave, a guy I went to college with. Turns out, he wanted to make good on his promise to "pay me back" for a Jethro Tull concert ticket I picked up for him back in 2000 when they played Baltimore. Yes, he wanted to remit payment for a ticket I completely forgot about, 6 years afterwards. How ridiculous! I just got his paypal payment for $50.

I was thinking, though, that with even a modest interest of 10% would make that about $90 today.

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

While re-editing the piece for turnhere.com about running in central park, I found a nice little clip of me explaining how I started running, which I discuss... while I am running. how self-referential. Enjoy.

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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Neostem... A month ago, I shot a short intro interview of the CEO of this adult stem-cell company for use on their website. I totally forgot to put it up. The company basically takes your own adult stem cells and freezes them as "bio-insurance" so if you get sick and need them, they're there to rebuild your heart or whatever organs. Pretty interesting. I rented some lights and lit up the office to look nice. The CEO, Robin Smith, was easy to work with and very very funny.

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

It looks like i'm not the only one selling the Spongebob Squarepants hat I got with the NYC Marathon goodie bag. Someone just put one up on ebay... dammit, competition.

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I was going through some footage of a central park video I made with a friend a few months back. We needed to get some footage of the Reservoir so my friend went and shot some while I stayed back on the road and hung out with the rickshaw driver guy we had hired for the day (long story).

Anyway, I'm going through the footage today and I notice a familiar guy's back running away from the camera on the reservoir. I took a screen capture of it and sent it to my friend Evan to see if he recognized himself and sure enough it was him! What are the odds of catching him running on the reservoir the same time my friend is actually filming!

So for your viewing pleasure.... evan's bare back while he runs past the camera. Enjoy!

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USPS is the worst place/company/gov't business ever. I sent a package to Maddy in China. They led me to believe that they could actually ship it there and get it to her. They had me fill out a form, a customs declaration and I added insurance to it. They said it should arrive 4-10 days.

It's been almost 2 weeks. I just checked on the package.

According to the

Sunday, December 03, 2006





Last night I went to a TURKEY FRY, hosted by my buddy Chip in Brooklyn. You might be asking, wtf is a turkey fry? It's basically when you get a huge vat of boiling oil and put a whole turkey in it til it turns golden brown and tastes amazing. When you take it out, you have a big vat of oil to use for deep frying ANYTHING -- oreos, potato chips, socks, whatever. We stuck with onion rings and french fries, but we were not very daring.

It was a delicious time.

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It's time to try to make money on ebay by selling my old crap.

Here are the two auctions I just started. One is for a lighted coaster that looks kinda cool. The other is for a spongebob squarepants hat that was included in the NYC marathon goodie bag. Let's see if anyone pays up.

I think I'm going to list some balance bars that taste disgusting and are expired. (I accidentally bought them on ebay a while back, thinking they were a different type of bar -- a tastier bar.) That will be the true ebay test. If i can sell these nasty expired power-bars, then I can sell anything.

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Saturday, December 02, 2006

TAXES:

Oh my god, taxes suck. And no, they don't suck like "oh man, this is annoying, I have to find 2 slips of paper and give them to H&R."

They suck because I am self-employed and have a lot of extra paperwork and stuff to fill out. I also am stubborn and refuse to have to pay someone to do my taxes -- it is so beyond me how the gov't could set something up that EVERYONE has to do (including lots of stupid people) and yet makes it SOO complicated that not even I (a somewhat smart person) can figure them out. That's bullshit and it pisses me off that H$R and all those other companies even exist. Obviously that should tell the IRS something: You're f'ng system is too complicated if an ENTIRE industry has been built just to fill out your paperwork. What a waste of time and money.

So, I think I can do it all myself. I spent many hours last night going through the 150 page document that explains the 1040 and another document that explains each of the lines of the Schedule C and how to deduct business-related expenses if you're going to itemize them. What a pain in my ass. I just encountered a gem in the instruction manual:

The time needed to complete and file this form will vary depending on individual circumstances. The estimated burden for individual taxpayers filing this form is included in the estimates shown in the instructions for their individual income tax return. The estimated burden for all other taxpayers who file this form is approved under OMB control number 1545-1974 and
is shown below.
Recordkeeping ......... 1 hr. 18 min
Learning about the law or the form .............. 24 min
Preparing the form ...... 1 hr
Copying, assembling, and sending the form to the IRS ... 20 min
Seriously, there is no way "learning about the law or the form" is going to take anyone 24 minutes. IRS sucks.

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Yesterday, I taught 2 math classes at the Spence School as a substitute teacher. It was pretty fun, actually! I was very nervous the night before -- the real teacher had sent me a lesson plan (wtf is a lesson plan??) and said to try to get through it in the period. So I went over it several times- it was on how to graph rational functions. And I braced for my first teaching experience in front of a real live class. But, keep in mind this is no ordinary class. Spence is an all-girls school and is one of the top private schools in the city.

But the classes weren't bad and I had a lot of fun with them. The first class was only 10 students, so it was very small and easy to handle. The girls kept passing notes on their graphing calculators (you can write text on them) until I pointed out that I wasn't born yesterday, and in fact when I was in high school WE used to do the exact same thing. They were embarrassed and had a laugh.

The second class was a little bigger and had a little more of that "I don't get it so you must be a crappy teacher because I don't understand" attitude. It felt very different from the first class. But it was definitely a fun experience.

And now I can say I taught at the school that Gwyneth Paltrow graduated from!

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